Audio Astrology for Sept. 2023

by LE Francis

Some of the notable astrological features for this month include mercury going retrograde in Libra on Sept. 9; venus entering the practical sign of Virgo on Sept. 4 before also entering Libra on Sept. 20; the full harvest moon in dreamy Pisces on Sept. 10; & the sun entering Libra on the fall equinox on Sept. 22. We’re on the cusp of Libra season & there’s a lot of judicious, romantic Libra energy on the horizon. But as a stupidly romantic Libra moon I’m sensing a lot more of the wise, judgmental side of the energy in these transits rather than the flirty, artsy shit I hope to see — my notes on a conjunction of the sun & mercury in Libra literally read “The wise side of Libra, not the horny side :(.”

Either way, it ain’t nothing but a thing, friends. Even if we’re chasing our tails under the influence of the Pisces full moon at the beginning of the month, the Sept. 25 new moon in Libra brings back that sense of balance, of the world being beautiful despite all of its many terrors. You can always write your lover or crush a poem at the beginning & the end of the month & compare the energy for science or something like that. 

But until then, grab your rising sign & let’s talk.

Aries

This month you are likely to feel really clear on where you’re going & are likely willing to plow through any obstacle, circumstance, or human being to get there. But while the energy may very well be fuck it we ball, the wheels of your proverbial 18-wheeler could be pointed toward a load bearing pillar or maybe someone you’d really like to fuck in the future. So maybe tap the breaks a little & realize that there are precious few degrees between closest confidant & roadkill — make a trip of it, but keep your hands on the wheel.

Anthem of the month: “Jerusalem” Bruce Dickinson

Taurus

When a river is dammed the water will ultimately try to find a new way downstream. That’s why there are whole-ass teams of engineers that figure that shit out. Sure, some particularly industrious beavers can redirect a stream or two, but there are numbers to be run, angles, velocities, probabilities – & beavers are more artists than scientists. There’s a difference between “just so” & “within tolerance,” & this month is an opportunity to find out which language suits your trajectory because this river has just gotta move & it would be a shame if it ended up flooding your basement.

Anthem of the month: “Change” Blind Melon

Gemini

Look, I don’t like it either, but there’s an aspect of creativity that is transmutation of the self & in a gig-based, every-artist-for-themselves, capitalism-as-a-spear-in-our-ribs-as-we-die-on-a-cross type economy it’s practically required to share — to elaborate a bit on that piece of yourself. But this can be a controlled release rather than an info dump. & while I know that’s a foreign friggin’ concept for gemini energy, I totally believe in you, you’ve got this. Besides, you’re mutable, flexible, you’ve created universes in the ashes of the dumpster fire between your ears. If you fuck it up, you can always reinvent yourself. Get to shining.

Anthem of the month: “King of Swords (Reversed)” The Dear Hunter

Cancer

When things get tough, you’ll want to get delusional this month. & that’s not to say that you’re a pretty bird & you can jump off buildings & ingest nothing but seeds & worms but it’s kinda like that, just more poetic. Run with me for a moment: see the sky & know it as your home, its atoms talking to your atoms, they speak the same language. It’s a lexicon like a river, some of it clear, some muddled, but it’s capable of moderation, of cooling the latest, shortest days of summer; consider the wellspring, bubbling up from heartspace of the Earth. Expand upon what feels natural to you & believe you are beautiful & can do beautiful things. What the hell can it hurt?

Anthem of the month: “My Lovely” Eisley

Leo

There’s a disconnect this month between what is driving you & how you’re moving toward. It’s a rudderless feeling & the current at the moment is a little apathetic. Don’t get me wrong, it’s there for you, but it’s also really interested in taking the afternoon off & grabbing a pizza. Say the current orders pineapple on that pizza, does that piss you off?  Even if it does, there’s no reason not to just go with the flow – let your reaction or lack thereof to the absolute nonsense of the cool, unfeeling side of the universe be the lesson that it cannot clearly teach otherwise. You will find yourself somewhere exciting eventually, until then just focus on floating.

Anthem of the month: “Epic” Faith No More

Virgo

It’d be so much easier if life had a handbook, or even a recipe card — a practical, idiot-proof approach that seems reasonable even before the day’s third cup of coffee. Unfortunately, the best we’ll get this month is a bunch of wet, smeared, Ikea-esque diagrams likely glued together by something that probably isn’t glue. Is it written in your language? Probably not, unless you’ve studied transcendental Enochian with a man who most definitely partied with Kansas back in ‘78. Is that a language at all? Debatable. But if you stare at it for long enough, you might see a sailboat.

Anthem of the month: “Mutiny off the Aleutian Coast by Rorrim Etni” Eye Alaska

Libra

There’s an intensity this month that may feel like a call to arms, but don’t take it as an invitation to square up with yourself. Your bones are made out of glass & you’ve cried over toilet paper commercials a non-zero amount of times. Besides, you know all of your weaknesses & it is not a fair fight, instead channel that energy outward. Saturn is currently delivering the People’s Elbow into the chest of your fifth house of creativity. But we all know that wrestling is show business & you have the opportunity to script out the end of the fight. What will it look like when you walk away victorious? What song will be blaring as you crack a cold one & double up the middle fingers on the jumbotron? Figure it out.

Anthem of the month: “Badlands” Metal Church

Scorpio

You know the routine – tear it down to build it up again. This isn’t the end of the world, it’s thirty Tuesdays in a trenchcoat trying to convince you that this is what life is. But this is just a small part of your life but you are more than equipped – with Mars knocking around your 8th house, imbued with that multitasking, chaos-eating Gemini energy – you are absolutely driven by the neverending cycles of death & rebirth that would make anyone else meltdown. & even if it was the end of the world, there’s no one better equipped to push that nerd pestilence off his Pale horse & take the reins.

Anthem of the month: “A Violent Strike” The Human Abstract

Sagittarius

The clouds are burning off & when the sun hits the ground. There was a feeling that you weren’t sure this moment was going to come, but you’re not stupid, you know nothing is permanent. You’re going to feel a boost in energy & mood with this sunbreak, but it’s going to be hard to express it in a direct way. So, couch it in a metaphor, paint it on a canvas, sing it along to a folk song – whatever route you go, you’re likely to get your point across with benefic Jupiter blowing up your 5th house of creativity, but be careful mid-month when Jupiter opposes Mercury – your mouth may be tempted to write checks & you know the rest.

Anthem of the month: “Holy Ghost” Bent Knee

Capricorn

The cliche is that the answer lies within. But picture yourself as a mountain, solid, immovable, a real boss bitch among the topographical set – what do you think is holding up all that awesome? I’d assume an astrology-column-reader would picture crystals – seams of quartz, pyrite, rich amethyst & emerald. Each element, each color holding meaning, resonance – the way they are cooked into the bedrock is a language. & then there are the critters – a mountain is a home – little things that scurry, big things you don’t want to wake from hibernation. There’s a lot to consider, don’t you think?

Anthem of the month: “Head is a Flame (Cool with it)” Portugal. The Man

Aquarius

If life is a puzzle, this month there are some tricky connections that look as if they’re going to work until you lay everything else out around it – then you realize that the pieces don’t quite fit, that maybe you applied a little too much pressure to get the edges to meet. It’s impatience, everything has been laying about on the table for far too long & you lost the box. You just want to see if the puppy with the blue bow is a corgi or a shiba inu. But there are ways to do this. Take a step back, breathe, & feel your way through each piece, run your fingers over the edges, it’s a language & you’re a poet. The picture sings from your tongue.

Anthem of the month: “Day of the Baphomets” The Mars Volta

Pisces

You are perfectly capable of putting your own spin on reality, so it doesn’t matter what I tell you here – you will make this month whatever you please & that will probably be some kind of party, maybe in a garden while the weather is still warm. With so many Libra-tinged transits favorable of cooperation & collaboration & your 7th house of partnerships getting blasted with positive energy by the sun & venus, you’re likely to enjoy whatever company you invite in, that is until mercury goes retrograde, tripping back into your 7th house to crash the party. Who will be your guest of honor? Will it be your childhood bestie? Your crush? A fictional character? Just make sure it’s not Angel Clare or Michael Curry or a mildly intoxicated poet may show up with the word Mercury scrawled across her forehead screeching something about a “Stone Cold Stunner.”

Anthem of the month: “Dream all Day” The Posies

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LE Francis is not a serious astrologer.

She’s a writer, a weirdo, & a clairaudient with great taste in music.