Chronic

I want to stand up and scream until my lungs collapse like dying stars.

Writing by Charlotte Amelia Poe
Art by Sean Kirkpatrick

chronic

“i am so completely miserable” i say

and the circle stammers out a giggle

chairs scrape and shoes squeak and

nobody says anything real and fresh skin

horror movie waxwork perfection

throw a penny in the fountain and ask

“what did you wish for?”

(pause for effect,

it’s more dramatic that way)

say “i don’t want to be numb anymore”

well, that’s the biggest lie i ever told

numb sounds good, how’s the song go?

“i wanna be sedated”

yeah, sounds like a pretty solid plan

i want to stand up and scream until

my lungs collapse like dying stars

maybe then you’ll understand

i am half a lightyear away from okay

and the water in my lungs

is drowning me steady as ever

cosmic ache fatigue rundown runaround hand me down whatever

goddamn give me a shot of the good stuff

i want white teeth and bright eyes

goddamn give me a shot of the good stuff

too many years in and i think i’m calling it quits on this wretched old machine

i’d say we had a good run, except –

well, i’m no liar

cosmic ache fatigue rundown runaround hand me down whatever

“i am so completely miserable” i say

and you know what?

i’ll be my own company,

’til you learn how to own it.


About the Poet

Charlotte Amelia Poe (they/them) is an autistic nonbinary author from England. Their first book, How To Be Autistic, was published in 2019. Their debut novel, The Language Of Dead Flowers, was published in September 2022.


About the Artist

Sean Kirkpatrick is an Australian artist and creator of comics such as “Baddies,” as well as the short graphic novel “The Days.” This piece was a collaboration between the artist and a spilled cup of joe.



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