I want to stand up and scream until my lungs collapse like dying stars.
Writing by Charlotte Amelia Poe
Art by Sean Kirkpatrick
chronic
“i am so completely miserable” i say
and the circle stammers out a giggle
chairs scrape and shoes squeak and
nobody says anything real and fresh skin
horror movie waxwork perfection
throw a penny in the fountain and ask
“what did you wish for?”
(pause for effect,
it’s more dramatic that way)
say “i don’t want to be numb anymore”
well, that’s the biggest lie i ever told
numb sounds good, how’s the song go?
“i wanna be sedated”
yeah, sounds like a pretty solid plan
i want to stand up and scream until
my lungs collapse like dying stars
maybe then you’ll understand
i am half a lightyear away from okay
and the water in my lungs
is drowning me steady as ever
cosmic ache fatigue rundown runaround hand me down whatever
goddamn give me a shot of the good stuff
i want white teeth and bright eyes
goddamn give me a shot of the good stuff
too many years in and i think i’m calling it quits on this wretched old machine
i’d say we had a good run, except –
well, i’m no liar
cosmic ache fatigue rundown runaround hand me down whatever
“i am so completely miserable” i say
and you know what?
i’ll be my own company,
’til you learn how to own it.
About the Poet
Charlotte Amelia Poe (they/them) is an autistic nonbinary author from England. Their first book, How To Be Autistic, was published in 2019. Their debut novel, The Language Of Dead Flowers, was published in September 2022.
About the Artist
Sean Kirkpatrick is an Australian artist and creator of comics such as “Baddies,” as well as the short graphic novel “The Days.” This piece was a collaboration between the artist and a spilled cup of joe.
Leave a Reply