Cast – Camille
(Sitting at a laptop. Speaking while typing)
I’m writing to find out if I can expect any progress on the thing you said you would do. You’re an asshole. I’m tired of listening to you make promises and never deliver. I’m also tired of you telling me how to do my job. Also, when you make quiet jokes across the table about me texting you late at night, that is sexual harassment. If I report it, I will be accused of blowing things out of proportion and not being able to take a joke so I’m going to let it slide. Again. But the next time you say my daughter looks like you in any way, expect my nostrils to flare and shoot actual fire at your tiny little head. Delete delete delete…
Hi Jim exclamation point!
Please forgive me for littering up your inbox with my inane chatter about work. Smiley face! That’s the thing you do less of than me but get paid more. Winky face! Smiley face! I am so sorry for, well, existing really, but right now for bothering you while you are likely engaged in something very important, like watching a video on your phone. But I was just wondering what I can do to support you and make sure you get all the credit for this project that I am doing all of the work on. Smiley face.
Delete, delete, delete!
If I show you my boobs, will you do what you said you would do so we can finish this project? Send.