A kitschy assortment of candy. Hit the dollar store for classics like colorful hard candies, Fun Dip, Laffy Taffy, boxes of Nerds, and mini candy bars. You could go way retro with penny candies and Dots. If you need to be a cool modernist who sticks to just one kind of candy, like peppermints or lollies, proceed with caution. Little Chrissy does not appreciate the minimalist approach.
OPTIONAL: Glitter, crayons, and pictures of washing machines or bags of domino sugar or nun puppets or sweet, sweet Chrissy.
Or… Plastic peckers, like penis-pencil-topper party favors.
Hot glue and glue sticks
Step One: Wrap the ring in ribbon or tulle.
Step Two: Attach candy
Using a hot glue gun, add a dab of hot glue onto the back of your candy bar and stick it onto the wreath. Don’t add too much glue, or Little Chrissy will wreck it trying to remove the candy.
Little Chrissy suggests you fill in the cracks with layers of candy bars or oversized boxes of jujus; maybe even cover the back with candy as well. Little Chrissy insists you don’t miss the inside of the ring, as lining the inside of the candy wreath with delicious bars is sure to fill it out and make it more wreath-like.
Step Three: Peckerize & Accessorize
Once you’re satisfied with the fullness, color, and kitsch, add some familiar faces from Pecker and other John Waters movies. Snip them from magazines or print them on your computer, then glitter them, color them with crayons, and use glue sticks to attach them to candy. Use a glue gun to affix peckers around the wreath.
Step Four: Add Ribbon
Cut off a long strip of ribbon and tie it around the handle of child-safe scissors that hang from your wreath (think a pen in a bank). Cut another length of ribbon; the first knot should secure the ribbon to the hoop, while a loop of ribbon will be a pretty way to hang the wreath. Now make sure you put it nice and high, taller than little Chrissy, with no chairs, stools, or pet rocks for her to clamber atop. Or back to the dollar store you go!
About the Artist
Katy Somerville was beamed into existence on a Monday night in the mid-eighties by stars, glitter, and a glorious Italian woman from a long line of very strong women. In the present timeline, she likes to drink coffee, pat any animal that will engage with her, make collages, and spend time laughing and finding moments of joy wherever she can with her partner and her goofy, lanky dog.